How Things Change
by ihadanepiphany
Summary: A look at Padmes thought pre-Vader and post-Vader not majorly angst but not funny either this is one of those fics thats somewhere in the middle


DISCLAIMER: The story is mine, the characters, the place namely the SW universe and everything else belongs to the Great Flannelled One George Lucas.  
  
AUTHOR: ihadanepiphany (I really did!)  
  
Lets see, I was partly inspired for this piece by another story a read a while ago that I cant remember the name or author of (Im so sorry whoever you are!) where Vader finds Padme and the fic is her thoughts in the middle of the night. If it sounds familiar and its yours, Im sorry but tell me who you are and I'll dedicate this one to you, how does that sound?  
  
Yet more angst, though maybe it's a bit more wistfulness than real angst, I don't know I only wrote it. Its you guys who have to read and review it. So tell me what you think, and don't worry its extremely difficult to offend me so do your worst! I dare ya!  
  
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Padme stared up into the darkness, the head of her lover cushioned on her shoulder. It was strange, how he slept now, clinging to her, like he was afraid that she would slip away into the night.  
  
'He's changed,' the words Obi Wan said echoing in her mind. 'Can't you see that? He's not the man he was.' Oh yes, she saw it. Had seen it for months, but unwilling to admit to herself. Little things that others wouldn't notice.  
  
Brooding silences, when once he'd always been talking or fixing something, up to his elbows in grease and yet somehow always managing to not only put everything back together without leftover pieces but also to make them better.  
  
His smile, that wonderful smile that lit up his entire face and always managed to make her feel better just by seeing it, had almost disappeared.  
  
There was anger and frustration in his eyes where there had once only been peace and joy.  
  
And other, more telling signs.  
  
She looked down at the blonde head even now not fully relaxed. A frown pulled at his brow like he was trying to solve a complex problem in his dreams. He groaned in his sleep and the arm that was looped around her waist tightened.  
  
He had grown more secretive, he who had once been unable to keep the slightest thing from her. She knew him better than anyone, better even than Obi Wan, but now she wondered if she knew him at all.  
  
/Once upon a time/ she mused as he groaned again. /He was dead to the world for six straight hours. Not moving, not waking, now I'm lucky if he lasts two/  
  
Even as she completed the thought, Anakin Skywalker woke with a start. He gazed around in confusion, then looked up at her.  
  
'Hey you,' Padme whispered, smiling. Anakin didn't reply, his gaze unreadable in the darkness. 'What's wrong?' Anakin shook his head.  
  
'Nothing,' he murmured. 'Its just.' He sighed. 'Nothing.'  
  
'What is it?' she pressed. 'Its not nothing, otherwise you wouldn't have kept me awake,' she said it with a wry smile. She saw a half-smile curve his lips before he reached up and kissed her. She kissed him back, suddenly terrified of losing him.  
  
Anakin sighed again.  
  
'I dreamt, that you were going away,' he confessed quietly. 'I saw you walking away from me and no matter how fast I ran or how loudly I called, you wouldn't come back.' Padme stared at the wall feeling the rise and fall of his chest, his breath tickling her neck. 'You wouldn't come back to me,' he whispered.  
  
'I'd never leave,' Padme told him fiercely, hearing the tremor in his voice. 'I love you Anakin, you know that. I'll never leave.'  
  
'Yeah. I know,' was the low reply.  
  
Six months later  
  
Padme looked out into space, waiting for the hyperdrive to kick in. Fear rose in her mind but she swiftly quelled it, for the Force-shield to work she had to remain perfectly calm.  
  
She wrapped her arms around her large bump, twins the medic had told her. She wished with all her soul that she could keep them, watch them grow, be their mother in more than blood.  
  
But no, the dream, vision really, that Anakin Skywalker had had that night came true, in a way that she would have never thought possible. If it was only herself, she would have stayed beside him, to wait for a time when she would be able to pull him back. But no. She had no illusions as to the intentions of Palpatine and she was not about to let him get his claws into her babies.  
  
So she was running, from one end of the galaxy to the other, until the day when her children would be born and they'd be taken from her for their own safety.  
  
Such a short time!  
  
She wondered distantly if she had just said no, denied all feeling toward the Jedi Apprentice, how differently things might have been. She shook her head sharply. No. Down that path lay madness. Besides, it wasn't like Palpatine would have left Anakin alone had she not been with him. He might have fallen faster than he did if they hadn't been together.  
  
Well, what's done is done. Can't change the past. At least now, Padme sighed and rubbed her bump gently, there may be hope for the future. Maybe one, or even both of their children might stand against their father. Maybe, just maybe, one might even manage to haul him back from the Dark, restore him to the man she had loved, still loved.  
  
The deck shook as the stars turned to starlines then to a mottled view. She sighed again and went to her quarters. It was a long way from Endor to Dantooine.  
  
'Where is the ship?' a deep voice ground out, punctuated by harsh stentorian breathing. The officer in charge gulped.  
  
'It left, my Lord, no more than half an hour ago.'  
  
'What was its course?' The officer gasped and scrabbled at his throat.  
  
'Bakura,' was the faint reply.  
  
'Bakura.' The Sith Lord turned, as the officer fell to the floor, clearly dead. 'Set the course Commander,' he ordered.  
  
'Yessir.'  
  
Some hours later, Vader stood at the bridge, watching the mottled sky.  
  
~No matter how fast I ran~ a faint memory stirred. ~Or how loudly I called, you wouldn't come back~  
  
/I'll find you Padme/ he vowed silently. /If I have to chase you to ends of the universe, I'll find you/  
  
  
  
*Evil snigger* Don't know about you but I like it. Do tell me if you agree wont you? 


End file.
